My Journey with Amma
My First Meeting with Amma
I had seen Amma's photo many years ago. At that time I was studying with Rama who has since left his physical body. Rama was a Satguru that I met in my late teens. When we meditated he filled the room with Gold Light. If it was not for my experiences with Rama I probably would not have recognized Amma. Rama describes how you can tell if someone is Enlightened in his books "Surfing the Himalayas " and "Snowboarding to Nirvana ". You can read more about Rama on this website. Look for the left hand menu item titled "In Loving Memory of Rama". Anyway, since I already had an Enlightened being in my life I was not searching or even thinking of meeting another teacher. I simply felt that she was familiar and that I would meet her again.
In the summer of 2004 I was getting ready to leave work and called a friend and asked her what she was doing. She told me that she was going to meet Amma with some friends at the Manhattan Center. I asked if I could join and she said yes. When I arrived there was a long line outside, but to my relief first timers (people who had not meet Amma before) were given priority and before I knew it we were ushered in the hall and seated. It was a bit awkward since we were seated on the floor next to a sound system. There were envelops on the floor and a plastic lid. I had no idea at that time but it was Devi Bhava night.
In a nut shell, when Amma came out I literally saw the light. I remember how sitting with Rama was like sitting in front of 10 suns. You would get a good kundalini burn if you were too close. No kidding, you could see it on people's face. When Amma came out I felt and saw her energy. It reminded me of a full moon. I was shocked. I knew how rare it is to meet a fully awakened being, since those on the planet are a small handful, and from that number very few actually interact with other people. I figured Rama was it! Nevertheless the Universe had other plans for me. I recall getting into the dharsan line and reading about getting a mantra. I figured Rama was my only teacher in this incarnation, even in death I feel his presence. So I was not sure if I wanted to ask for a mantra. What happened was that every concern I had was literally answered exactly the way I questioned it by the devotees and others I met that night. So by the time I was in front of Amma I said "mantra", and she looked at me and said 'yes...' as if I should hurry and get one. I went through the process and got a mantra. These are personal mantras that you do not share. Amma looks at you, your essence, and prescribes what you need.
The Truth: It is time to wake up!
After getting my mantra my friend and I went home. I recall leaving around 2 AM. The time flew by, and dharshan was still going on when we left. I did not know that Devi Bhava ended the following morning with a special event. I learned that later, which I will share with you when I describe my first retreat. That night I felt like I was with Amma all night long. When I woke the next day I felt connected to her. I could still smell her perfume for days to come. I felt as if she were walking with me, and as I added the mantra routine into my life. I saw how my consciousness was changing at speeds that only an Enlightened teacher in the physical body can help achieve, which I recognized from my 15 years with Rama. I used the mantra as prescribed and saw what it did. After two months passed I had an intense urge to see Amma. I looked online and found that my city had several Amma's Satsangs. If you go to Google and type 'Amma's Satsang' plus your city name, I am sure you will find places near by. I visited all the Satsangs in my area. To be honest there was one weekend Satsangs that I felt Amma's energy most. The others were more like a high school click type gatherings, which I was not into since I was seeking an experience with Amma and not egos that block the light.
I discovered that Amma was coming back to the USA in the fall, so I made arrangements to meet her. I chose Michigan because it felt like a smaller location with fewer 'flaky' people. From experience I know that an Enlightened teacher is not going to do the work for you; they simply point the way and provide an example. Some people who imitate a teacher by dress etc. call them selves’ devotees, but this is not a true devotee since what you wear does not matter. From my perspective those people who are focused on the physical are beginners. If you listen to what Amma is teaching it is about a shift in consiousness and how we live, not at all how we dress. Amma does not have a dress code however you will most likely meet people to think wearing white is important. In the majority of cases they are missing the fact that it is what is in your heart, where your consiousness exists, that is important.
Spirituality is not an excuse to have a sloppy mind. Anyone paying attention when they have a real Master should see that the Master is not a mental slob. S\he is the exact opposite! They have a sharp clear, bright, multi dimensional, multi tasking, amazingly beautiful mind. That is what I saw in Rama and what I see in Amma. Amma refers to first attention as "sraddha" (alertness). It was pretty obvious to me that Amma has a lot of 'nice people' on the out side surrounding her but the many seriously lack sraddha / first attention. This is a clue to identifying beginners on the path. Older souls have a more developed awareness. They get things done with a positive outcome. You cannot progress into higher dimensions of mind with a sloppy attention. Trying to would be like pouring water into a bucket with holes. I appreciate Amma's presence in my life and practice her teachings, but I am not just hanging around waiting for her to save me from myself, and i refuse to play the polical and ego games that most engage. What people tend to do when they are around an Enlightened being is think that the Enlightened being is different or somehow special in a way that the rest of us are not. The only difference is they have realized who they are, an incarnation of pure light, just like the rest of us who have not realized that fact yet. Rama use to say Enlightenment is in everything. Amma has said 'you are Krishna'. What I have learned is that it is only through the illusions of self that we maintain in our mind, which include all our attractions and aversions, that cause us to exist in pain and suffering. We create a state where we do not experience nor fully integrate our divine essence into our daily lives and never realize our true identity. I know this truth because of the very high moments I have experienced in meditation. My goal is to maintain and integrate that into daily living, and not accept anything less. I will not pretend or play dress up. I am living my life following the essence of he teachings. It is tricky and very hard to describe in words. Anyway, I know what I am suppose to do and am working on it. Since the Universe has allowed me to spend time with "Ra" and now "Ma", the two combined are perfect balance; "Aum". See our logo for the Dharmakaya Meditation Center.
I hope my truth and candor has not offended you, but if it did then I must have hit a tender truth that you don't want to hear. If you laughed and got it, good for you! There is more to come.
Aum Amriteswarayi Namaha!